


not shakespeare

by yasi



Series: Ben Mitchell Week 2020 [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ben Mitchell Week 2020, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasi/pseuds/yasi
Summary: written for ben mitchell week 2020, day 7: free choice
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ben Mitchell Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021090
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	not shakespeare

Ben remembers how weird kissing Lola had felt. How he’d wanted things to be over and done with, so he could say he’d fucked a girl. So, people would stop assuming he was gay. How he’d felt even less like a man afterwards. 

Ben also remembers Abi and how he’d disliked her glossy and sticky lips. How he’d felt like scrubbing his own lips every time after they’d kiss. Never mind how weird and uncomfortable he’d felt after sex. He doesn’t like thinking about it. 

Kissing Johnny had felt different and kinda right. It hadn’t felt weird at all. And that had scared him. And he’d felt himself revert back to his stupid and screwed-up self while the kiss was happening. And then he’d run away. 

After Johnny he’d kissed many a strange man just to recreate that feeling of rightness again. He’d felt butterflies in his stomach every time. Whether it was the fear of being caught or the thrill of kissing another man, Ben couldn’t say. 

But it had been Paul who had been the game changer. The one person Ben had wanted more than anyone else. But at the same time, he’d been afraid of that want. Afraid of what it would mean for him. What it would lead to. He’d fought against that feeling for too long. 

It’s why he’s never truly been angry with Callum before he came out. Ben remembers how it was to be afraid of being true to himself, of disappointing loved ones. 

Ben is glad that when Callum came along he already knew who he was. Because now he can enjoy kissing Callum without feeling any guilt over it. And he does. 

Ben loves Callum’s kisses. His quick and soft kisses, saying hello or goodbye. His lingering kisses, saying I missed you. His careful kisses, asking for permission. His forceful kisses, taking what he needs because he knows Ben can take it. He loves their early morning kisses, a little scratchy with Callum’s stubble. Just as he loves the kisses when Callum is clean-shaven and soft. Ben loves them all. 

Kissing Callum reminds him of that line from a Shakespeare play they’d read back in school. He hadn’t been paying much attention in class, but that line had stuck with him. Because he’d thought it ridiculous. But now he understands. 

“You have witchcraft in your lips,” Ben whispers against Callum’s lips. Callum’s breath stutters, his eyes blown wide open. “You’ve put me under your spell, Callum Highway. And I don’t mind it one bit.” Ben captures Callum’s lips again. Softly teasing, lingering. Taking his time. 

But Callum is having none of it. His hands wander up from Ben’s back to his face, holding Ben in place and kissing him for all he’s worth, turning their kisses dirty. Igniting a fire in them both. And Ben lets him. Because in Callum’s kisses Ben has found his home. Spell, or no spell. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos feed the muse 💖


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